sept 2 26.

second time writing this because bad internet. had so many nightmares last night. in one, there was someone in my apartment and i had to break a beer bottle for a weapon. i remember breaking it badly so it mostly was just neck. i tried to get into allie's office but its her freaking BUSY SEASON so the door was locked and her headphones were on. i also had a photography related stress dream where i was taking the best photo on earth but as the shutter was going i dropped the camera because it was too heavy. awesome

aug 31 26.

went to bed sober for the first time in awhile. woke up from a dream where an ex wanted me back and it was one of those that felt so physically real. i woke up and i could still feel the sensations to a point that it was real life that felt wrong. owie ouch ow :(((((

aug 27 26.

i’m sitting on the couch with my parents and a guy i hooked up with freshman year of college. he wants to kiss me in front of them but i keep skirting away from it until i eventually get up and hide from him. LESBIAN!!!

aug 26 26.

woke up from a weird one this morning. in it i was an adult dating an old boyfriend who i haven’t spoken to since my teens. i didn’t enjoy kissing him and i tried to convince myself i liked the sex. the personality of this man wasn’t anything like the boy from high school, even though i knew it was. there was a distinct feeling of needing to Like it. obviously in my real life im a lesbian so this is ab being closeted im sure