some things i'm afraid of and why:


Aug 20 2026
- i’m afraid i will never stop being afraid!! i am so naturally fearful and anxious and worst case scenario. i’m afraid of all my worst case scenarios and the concept that i’ll never get over it.
- i’m afraid i have TERMINAL IBS!!!! is that possible? pooped to death 

Aug 17 2026
- still afraid of the other stuff mentioned but feeling it pretty strongly today. i’m very fearful of being someone’s obligation instead of their loved one. 

Aug 9 2026
- i’m afraid of hanging on for too long for things or people that don’t want anything to do with me. i guess what im actually afraid of is being seen as someone who is leeching? or holding on too tight? i’m trying my hardest to be chill but it is against my nature to want and to love and not do anything about it. 

Aug 6 2026
- being forgettable to people who will always be unforgettable to me
- having to poop and throw up at the same time. which would you choose
- putting trust in my loved ones that they like me and want to spend time with me


Aug 5 2026
- everything being my fault. i hate deciding things. i hate feeling responsible for everyone even though logically i know i'm not. i think i forget that other people can choose to not do something just as much as they can choose to do something. hanging out and we have a bad time? maybe its both of our responsibilities to make something work. 
- my cat not liking me. she spends a lot of time in allie's room and i wonder if she thinks allie is mama when I"M MAMA AND ALLIE IS MAMA'S FRIEND!!!!!!!!! butterscotch please stop forsaking me for allie's room i can't keep going on like this
- maybe i'm not really cut out for life and living and every bit of admin that entails. not in a su*cide way. but in a way where i feel like i was built Wrong. i feel like there's this parasite in my brain and keeps me small. perhaps the parasite is my ocd or major depression. lmk....
- surely this will be a running list as i never stop finding things to be afraid of